on eating alone

You taste what you're made of...

(...and Irish Bangers, Apple-mash, with an arugula salad)

I have been working on my confidence.  I don't mean to get all self-help on you, but I will tell you last night, I helped myself to a delicious meal. And I ate it all by myself.

I don't think it is possible for me to cook for just one. I don't know how. Well, sure, I could easily buy one of those trays that feeds one person. It does make some sense, I do like to eat in front of the tv. Who am I kidding, I have never had one of those in my life, and food you actually cook, just doesn't come in single serving sizes.  And my nature in the kitchen isn't capable of such a task. I prefer to share.

I haven't been sharing as many dinners as I used to. And let's just say it's change. different. a bit lonely. Every night that I cook, I make a call, or send a text, saying, "Hey, want to eat dinner with me? I've got enough for two." And I don't have to feel empty or have an empty spot at the bar (or on the couch). I get to share a meal again.

Last night, my request was answered with, "I am sick." "I already ate." While chopping the apple, there was a moment when I realized, "I am eating dinner alone." "Okay, I am eating dinner alone!" I usually get satisfaction, or we can call it an ego boost, when I cook a real good dinner for someone else. Last night, I gave that to myself.  I settled into the kitchen and really made myself proud.  Confidently, with fork and knife in hand, plate on my lap, I ate. Not lonely, but just alone. Well, not completely alone, if my friends from Melrose Place count? And hey, there is still a plate of leftovers in the fridge! And that I can share.

 

One night, make a meal for yourself and eat it by yourself. If you don't know what to cook, make this one...

Ingredients:

2 T. butter

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 apple, chopped

1 celery root, peeled and chopped

water

2 T. half and half or milk

salt and pepper

Irish Bangers, bratwurst, any sausage

foil

2 handfuls arugula, or salad greens

your favorite dressing, or mine

Method:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. 

Saute garlic in 1 T. butter on medium-high heat for about 1-2 minutes, stirring so it won't burn. Add apples and celery root, and just barely cover with water. Bring to a boil, then cut heat down to medium, and allow to cook for about 30 minutes, til mushy, stirring occasionally. When done, drain, return to pot, add half and half, a pinch of salt, two shakes of pepper, and blend with hand mixer, or mash with potato masher. Leave on stove with lid to keep warm til everything else is ready.

In a skillet, on high heat, melt butter and sear sausages about 3-4 minutes on each side. You want them to be brown on all sides. Then wrap in foil pouch and put in oven for 20-25 minutes. Slice one in half to make sure it is cooked all the way (a little pink is okay).

While sausage is in oven, prepare your salad. If you want to make my dressing, whisk together 2 cloves minced garlic, 2 T. chopped dill or parsley, juice of one lemon, and 2 big spoonfuls of mayo. Season with salt and pepper. With your dressing or mine, to dress the salad, start with the dressing in the bottom of a large bowl. Then add your greens on top, and WITH YOUR HANDS, toss together. 

Plate everything side by side, grab your knife and fork, and proudly eat, where ever you want. Alone.